(Image Ralf 1403 Pixabay)
I’ve been leading teams; working in HR; coaching and consulting in the people development arena for decades; alongside leading the UCAN network. With that track record, it would be safe to assume that I like people. I do!
And I don’t…
If we’re honest, there are people in our lives we find it hard, or even impossible to like.
Some people we like and connect with – the rapport is there and it’s an easy relationship. Some people we’re indifferent to – there's limited connection but no offense or difficulty. But some people we find impossible to like, no matter how hard we try. As you read this, those people are no doubt springing to mind. By the laws of probability, chances are some will be in your church, and some even on your church staff team. No, matter how hard we try, these people seem to ‘rub us up the wrong way’ and we’re often teetering on the edge of conflict or frustration with them.
Yet Jesus taught and modelled to love everyone regardless of whether we like them. Why? Because every person has worth. Every person is important to God. To love them isn’t easy, but as I look at the story arc of the Bible, I see God teaching his people to do exactly that. If we look to Jesus and ask for His sustaining Spirit’s help, we can learn how to love others.
Harmony and unity can, at times, feel impossible to achieve – in families, teams, churches, and workplaces – including when we’re working in the church. Unity is NOT uniformity, and by nature we’re drawn to those like us, and we’re more guarded towards those we’re different to. The Apostle Paul urged the Corinthian and Ephesian disciples to ‘make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit’ and to ‘strive for restoration and unity’ – because he knew these things don’t come easily to us – even when we work in the church!
It’s one reason the people in our lives are important. Difference is such a gift! The beautiful tapestry of difference in the people around us shapes us to become healthier, better versions of ourselves – if we allow it. So often, we default to the easy path, of ‘giving feedback’ and pointing out to others how they need to change to align with our preferences, or to behave like us. It takes intentionality and even humility to decide that their preference and behaviour is as valid as ours, and to consider flexing to meet them half-way, or further. But this position and heart posture is so often the path to healthier behaviour in us, and to increased relational intelligence. When we enable everyone’s voice and viewpoint to be heard, and if we value others’ experience as much as our own, we learn and grow, and we increasingly reflect Jesus in our interactions.
This is why it’s a privilege to work in team, and why I love working in the people profession. People are inherently important and have value. People – I love them. And sometimes I don’t. And when I don’t…God reminds me that they’re important to Him and need to be important to me.
I hope you’re reminded today to look afresh at the people God has put around you – maybe in your church staff team - and to notice how valuable and important they are.
Ephesians 4:1 ‘Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace…’
For you
Jules Morgan
UCAN Director